Day of Interfaith Youth Service

On Sunday, April 22 a group of Senior Highs (Stu, Ben, Jake S., Jeff, Jake D., Renee, Jessica, Natasha, and myself) ventured to Humboldt Park for a Day of Interfaith Service sponsored by Interfaith Youth Core.

We had a great time cleaning up and mulching parts of the park (in observance of Earth Day), engaging in inter-religious dialogue, and enjoying fellowship with each other and new friends.

IFYC is a great organization that I hope we continue to be involved with. Inter-religious education, dialogue, and experiences are so incredibly important in today's world. It was a lot of fun to collaborate with youth and adults from a wide range of religious backgrounds on a common cause: the protection and beautification of our natural environment.

For pictures of our group participating in this event, check out this Facebook album: Chicago Day of Interfaith Service. For all of the pictures taken that day, follow this link.

Holy Pancakes!

Our first ever Pancake Breakfast on April 15 was a great success. We made tons of pancakes, raised lots of money for the Senior High WorkCamp, and had a blast doing it!

For lots of pictures from this great event, check out the following Facebook albums:

• Holy Pancakes!
• More Pancakes!
• Even More Pancakes!
  

Presbyterians in Blacksburg

Presbyterians have been some of the first responders to the killings at Virginia Tech this week. Check out this news story from the PC(USA) to read about what has been going on.

Here are links to Blacksburg Presbyterian Church and Cooper House, the Presbyterian Campus Ministry at Virginia Tech. The campus minister at Cooper House is Catherine Snyder.

Let's hold all of these saints in our prayers.

Daily Devotion

Rather than our regular Daily Devotion today, Fourth Church sent out a special devotion reflecting on the events at Virginia Tech. It was written by Hardy Kim, one of our Pastoral Residents. I want to post it here for you to read. Thanks, Hardy!

Scripture Reading: Luke 19:37–44

Reflection
Only ten days ago we joyfully celebrated the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Only ten days ago we proclaimed the victory of life over death, of good over evil. Yesterday, it seems, we still glowed from the warmth, the day, family and friends; we had new life.

And so the tragic events at Virginia Tech are even more shocking and hard to accept. From where in this resurrection world does something like this spring?

Joseph Conrad once wrote, “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” The tragic events in Blacksburg, Virginia, certainly seem to confirm Conrad’s view.

However, I do not seek a source for the evil in times like these. Rather, I sorely feel the need for a supernatural source of healing and goodness. Faced with the senseless loss of thirty-three lives, I search for a miraculous spiritual cure-all to provide comfort for my grieving heart, wisdom for appropriate words, and strength to sustain a weary mind.

Still, today’s text reminds us that the surprising strength of our faith is not to be found in these kinds of answers. The power and love of God was revealed in a human being, Jesus Christ, much like us; a human being who, even as he was being welcomed as a king and savior, took notice of the suffering and pain in the world and wept over the brokenness of Jerusalem. This same God is with us now. Though resurrected and victorious in Christ, God is still with us in our brokenness and suffering, and God still weeps for all of those who are suffering from the events of April 16 in Virginia and all tragic happenings around the world.

Prayer
God of the resurrection, remind me that even though you have defeated death and have overcome this world, you do not abandon us, who have yet to do so. Be with us in our time of grief, and comfort us even if we are not wise enough to have all the answers to life’s awful mysteries. Let us know the love of a God who weeps for us, even now. Amen.

A Service of Remembrance
All are invited to participate in a service of remembrance for those affected by the tragic events at Virginia Tech. Fourth Presbyterian Church will be holding two such services this Thursday:
Service of Remembrance
Thursday, April 19, 2007
12:10 p.m.
7:30 p.m.
in the Fourth Church sanctuary

In the Wake of Tragedy

Dear Fourth Church Youth and Parents:

With so many people across our country, our hearts broke yesterday with the news of the shooting deaths at Virginia Tech. As the tragedy continues to unfold before our eyes, our grief only grows.

These horrific events are especially difficult for us to process. So many of us are either heading to college next year or have siblings or children in college now. As numerous people have mentioned, schools should be sanctuaries and safe places for learning and growing. When that safety is violated, we are all unsettled.

As we grieve as a nation and as a community, I want you to be aware of two things. First, if any of you—youth and parents alike—need to talk with a pastor, I am always available for you.

Second, the community of faith at Fourth Church will be gathering at two different times on Thursday for a prayer service of remembrance. For those that work downtown or are available during the day, there will be a service at noontime. For students, families, and others for whom noon doesn't fit, there will be a service at 7:30 Thursday evening. I encourage you to come join us as we turn to God in this time of tragedy.

If you need anything at all, please be in touch.

May God be with us all in these difficult times.

peace,

John

If you burn it, he will come...

Wouldn't it be awesome if Jesus showed up on a pancake at Fourth Church?

There's only one way to find out...come to the first ever Senior High Pancake Breakfast on April 15 from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm. The money we raise from this event will help support our summer WorkCamp to Hazard, Kentucky.

If you are in Senior Highs or Fourth Church Rising, we need your help to cook and serve pancakes from 8:00 am to 2:00 pm. If you are "the man" or "the woman", like Jeff McGuire (I'm not sure which), you'll be there for the whole thing. If you absolutely can't make all of it, come for what you can...we'll need your help and it will be a lot of fun too.

If we're lucky, Jesus will show up on a pancake.

Lenten Devotions 8

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Matthew 24:3–14

Reflection
Apocalyptic views of the world aren’t images that get a lot of attention in mainline Christian denominations. Yet today’s passage uses such language, which we also find in Revelation, and references apocalyptic verses from the Old Testament. So what is its relevance to us?

Jesus is trying to prepare the disciples for the struggles they will face in the days and years ahead as they spread his story. In fact, there is some indication that the writer of Matthew may have been speaking to the then-current-day realities of early Christians. Buried in Jesus’ answer to the disciples’ question is a promise: “The one who endures to the end will be saved.”

This prediction of hardship echoes Jesus’ own persecution and passion. But Jesus’ struggle is ultimately our struggle. He endured the cross and grave so that we wouldn’t have to.

As we experience the Passion story this week, think of the struggles in your own life. Perhaps it is unemployment, a bout with cancer or other illness, a difficult time at work, grief over the loss of loved one, or a failed relationship. Whatever the struggle, remember his promise.

Our challenge is to look beyond the doomsday scenarios and see the new beginning. Indeed, the story of Easter is ultimately one of hope—hope that after a long ordeal there are better days to come. That’s often a difficult thing to remember in the midst of an ordeal. Yet it is the foundation of our faith, and for me, it has been the basis for comfort, strength, and confidence in good times and bad.

Prayer
Jesus, as I journey through this Holy Week, remind me that your struggle is my struggle. Strengthen my faith through the story of your passion and resurrection, and remind me of your promise that there will be better days. Amen.

Written by Mark Nelson, Senior High Leader

Lenten Devotions 7

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Mark 10:46–52

Reflection
Our culture relishes distraction more than any other before us. From our iPods to our cell phones, it is hard to find even a brief respite from our technological immersion. In a sign of this growing problem, last month a New York state senator attempted to ban “iPod oblivion,” an aptly named phenomenon that describes people who withdraw from the world into their iPods even when crossing streets, a phenomenon which has already killed three people. Now more than ever it is a struggle to escape the draw of these distractions and find our true calling. We must strain even harder to hear the voice of the needy, the impoverished, and the sick. Amid the chime of our cell phones and Blackberries, it is hard to discern their cries, “Have mercy on me, help me.” In a world where a phone call is all too accessible, we ask in the words of our savior for our true calling: What do you want me to do for you, God?

Prayer
Lord, help me to see through the distractions, to place others needs before my own, to hear the voices—which are all too often obscured by our own interests—calling, “Have mercy on me.” You have fulfilled so many of my own needs, now help me to fulfill those of others, and help me, in my own way, to heal the blind man calling my name. Amen.

Written by Jeremy Lewis, Fourth Church Youth sophomore in high school

Lenten Devotions 6

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Mark 2:1–12

Reflection
No doubt, Jesus himself must have looked up too. And what did he see? No, Jesus was not struck by the demolition of the ceiling, but he saw their faith—not their faces, but their faith!

What have you never seen before?

Jesus is liberating the one who is paralyzed, and in the process a new kind of community is being created. Because when God is set loose in the world, then God sets about creating a community of compassion, grace, liberation, and hope. God’s mission is “to empower all people to experience the presence of God, to grow toward wholeness, and to act in love.” When Jesus performs these signs and wonders, the people are astonished because they’ve never seen anything like this. But in these moments their eyes are opened, and they can see who Jesus is. May we too have our eyes open to see God’s new work in the world and at our church. May our prejudices be revealed, our barriers broken down, so that God’s inclusive community might be created in our midst. And that will be the greatest wonder of them all. Bear in faith, there are still miracles to be made and people to be saved. Trust in the Lord whom we cannot see, because he can see you; he sees us, and he sees me.

Prayer
Lord Father God, help me to remember that on this day I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed! Your love and mercy overflows more and more with knowledge and full insight to help me determine what is best. With assurance and faith in your words, never will you leave me, never will you forsake me. In Jesus Christ, Amen.

Written by Florence Adibu, Fourth Church Youth senior in high school

Lenten Devotions 5

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Zephaniah 2:4–7

Reflection
My initial response to the text for today was, “Who did I make mad to get assigned this one?” As I continued to think, read, and talk to my wife, I began to consider the two major thoughts of the text—one of forsakenness and desolation and one of promise. I sometimes feel forsaken as I busy myself with my career and the “important” things in life. But these are the things of the world—things unimportant to God. God doesn’t focus on destruction and devastation. Ours is a God of renewal and regeneration.

Zephaniah reminds me that God himself is preparing a place for me. A place where I will return, not when I get around to it but when God calls for me. As the world calls me to its agenda, I will be reminded that there is a place of quiet rest that God is preparing. I don’t think our world is a quiet place. It is a place where the people of God must remember that God is in charge, God intervenes for us, and God calls us to return from those things that hold us captive.

Prayer
God of returning captives: Help me remember during the strife that I create that you have already prepared a place for me. Not because I deserve it but because you wanted to. Let me live in this knowledge and understanding throughout this Lenten season and beyond. Through Christ Jesus, my Savior. Amen.

Written by Rob Sinclair, Elevation Sunday School Teacher

Lenten Devotions 5

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Zephaniah 2:4–7

Reflection
My initial response to the text for today was, “Who did I make mad to get assigned this one?” As I continued to think, read, and talk to my wife, I began to consider the two major thoughts of the text—one of forsakenness and desolation and one of promise. I sometimes feel forsaken as I busy myself with my career and the “important” things in life. But these are the things of the world—things unimportant to God. God doesn’t focus on destruction and devastation. Ours is a God of renewal and regeneration.

Zephaniah reminds me that God himself is preparing a place for me. A place where I will return, not when I get around to it but when God calls for me. As the world calls me to its agenda, I will be reminded that there is a place of quiet rest that God is preparing. I don’t think our world is a quiet place. It is a place where the people of God must remember that God is in charge, God intervenes for us, and God calls us to return from those things that hold us captive.

Prayer
God of returning captives: Help me remember during the strife that I create that you have already prepared a place for me. Not because I deserve it but because you wanted to. Let me live in this knowledge and understanding throughout this Lenten season and beyond. Through Christ Jesus, my Savior. Amen.

Written by Rob Sinclair, Elevation Sunday School Teacher

Lenten Devotions 4

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Jeremiah 29:1–14

Reflection
The Bible often tells of those who leave their homes to follow God’s call. Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Hagar, Jacob—people who wandered in the wilderness, the desert, or in foreign lands, eager for guidance from the Lord. In Jeremiah, when the prophet is sharing God’s word, the people are exiled. God tells them to stay put—to marry, spend time with family, plant gardens, care for their new neighbors—and to enjoy a rather pleasant domestic life.

This reminds me of a time when I was stuck in an unsatisfying job. I prayed that God would tell me what to do, because surely God must want me to do something bigger and better! Finally I realized I could either check out or commit to do God’s work right where I was.

I chose to pray for the boss who made my life difficult and to look out for teammates who couldn’t speak up for themselves. I suddenly felt more satisfied—and more aware of the Spirit at work in this big corporation. Even my disagreeable boss somehow seemed more likeable! God doesn’t always call us to faraway places, but God does call each and every one of us to seek the welfare of our own city and to pray for those around us.

Prayer
Good and gracious God, help me to seek your will and to do your work wherever I may be. Amen.

Written by Amy Pagliarella, Fourth Church Rising Leader

Lenten Devotions 3

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Isaiah 44:24–45:7

Reflection
The beautiful words of this ancient oracle are remarkable because this is the only place in the Bible that a non-Israelite is called God’s messiah (“anointed”)—a title normally reserved for Israel’s kings and priests and later applied to Jesus. Anticipating objections to this shocking claim, the prophet reminds his audience that God can act however God pleases, even if it means using the Persian king Cyrus to accomplish the salvation of Israel.

But this passage is even more remarkable for being one of the few places in the Bible that clearly articulates a fascinating, though extremely challenging theology: if God is truly in control of history (and our individual lives), then God is responsible for both the good parts and the bad parts. Our euphemistic English translations of this passage obscure the force of this theology. Let those with ears to hear listen to a more accurate rendering: “I form light and create darkness, I make good and create evil; I the Lord do all these things.”

As we prepare our hearts and minds for Holy Week during the season of Lent, we are confronted with one of the most mystifying paradoxes of the Christian faith: an unquestionably evil act of horrific violence and gross injustice is at the heart God’s work of redemption and salvation.

Sometimes I find myself objecting to the cross as defiantly as those Jews who would have resisted calling Cyrus their messiah. To this objection Isaiah offers a challenging possibility: perhaps God is in fact behind both the good and the bad. What this might mean for the mystery of the cross and the mystery of our own lives is worth exploring.

Prayer
Dear God, open my heart and mind to the mysteries of your ways as I face the difficulties of life and the realities of the cross. Amen.

Written by John Vest, Associate Pastor for Youth Ministry

Lenten Devotions 2

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Genesis 46:28–47:6

Reflection
This passage is essentially the happy ending to Jacob’s story. After long years of believing his beloved son Joseph dead, Jacob is not only reunited with Joseph, but finds Joseph to be a wealthy, powerful man. All the bitterness Joseph may have felt at being sold into slavery by his brothers leaves him when he sees Benjamin and his brothers’ protection of Benjamin, so Joseph welcomes the whole family into Egypt, using his influence to give them good land for raising their livestock so that they will not starve, despite the continuing drought.

Such a happy ending is satisfying to read because in our busy lives it is often hard to see God’s plan for us. We all have uncertainty about what the future may hold; we wait to hear back from colleges, doctors, faraway significant others, and what have you. There are times when it is hard to trust that God holds us all in the palm of his hand, when life seems senseless and we are overwhelmed by the fear that there will be no comfortable retirement, no grandchildren, no happy ending. It is good then to read about Jacob who, after all the troubles in his long life, is reunited with his son and lives out his last days content, his sons cared for and his legacy through them assured.

Prayer
God, make me strong to always trust in the future provided by you and to trust that, like Jacob, I have a happy ending awaiting me. Amen.

Written by Cassandra Kildow, Fourth Church Youth senior in high school

Lenten Devotions 1

Now that Lent has come and gone and we are now officially into the season of Easter, I want to do something I meant to do throughout Lent. As you may know, Fourth Church puts out daily devotions that are available via email, on the website, or in print each week. Most of the time, these are written by members of the Fourth Church staff. During special seasons of the church year, like Lent, we also invite members of the congregation to contribute to these. This year's Lent devotions were excellent, and several of them were written by Fourth Church youth or adults associated with the youth program. As something of a Lenten retrospective, I want to post these Fourth Church Youth devotions on this blog, in case you missed them before. Thanks to all who worked hard on writing these!

Scripture Reading: Genesis 1:1–5

Reflection
Yesterday we stood, once again, at the beginning of our journey to the foot of the cross. We quietly received our ashes and heard the words, “Remember you are dust and unto dust you shall return.” Ashes too remind us of our deep need for God and how we have strayed from the source of our life, from the source of our very being. Today we read the words “the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters . . . and there was light . . . and God separated the light from the darkness.” In this time of preparation, to absorb once again the lengths to which God is willing to go—even to a cross—to bring us home from wherever we have strayed, I was struck by the image of the breath of God sweeping over the face of the deep. I could not help but think of the moments in our lives where we feel the breath of God sweeping across our faces and we feel the light of God illuminating our deepest darkness as if it were the first day. And I was reminded once again that even in the preceding darkness, God is there. As we remember how far we have strayed from our God, let us too remember that, be it day or night, there is nowhere we can go where our loving God cannot, and will not, seek us out.

Prayer
May I never forget the great expanse of your love, O God. Let me live fully, all to your glory, in the knowledge that even should I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand will lead me and your right hand shall always hold me fast. Amen.

Written by Linda McCarty, Fourth Church Rising Leader

Community Book Group

Later this month, I will be leading Fourth Church's Community Book Group. The book for this month is Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried. This is an incredible book, so I wanted to invite you to come and participate in the discussion. You may have read this book already...it was recommended to me last year by some students at Hinsdale Central High School who had read it for class. If you haven't read it, it's definitely worth it.

The book group will meet on Tuesday, April 24 at Fourth Church from 7:00 to 8:30 pm.

I hope to see you there!

Preach It!

This commentary by Roland Martin, a talk show host from here in Chicago, is featured on CNN.com today. I thought it was worth sharing, not just because I agree with his perspective, but because it is getting wide exposure through a media giant like CNN. We need to get more Christian voices like this one out there.

Here are some highlights from Martin's commentary:

"When did it come to the point that being a Christian meant caring about only two issues,­ abortion and homosexuality?"

"Many people believe we are engaged in a holy war. And we are. But it's not with Muslims. The real war -- ­ the silent war ­-- is being engaged among Christians, and that's what we must set our sights on."

"I've grown tired of people who pimp God."

"If abortion and gay marriage are part of the Christian agenda, I have no issue with that. Those are moral issues that should be of importance to people of the faith, but the agenda should be much, much broader."

Were You There?

Just moments ago, I returned to my office after our Maundy Thursday Tenebrae Service at Fourth Church. It was a powerful service of communion, scripture reading, singing, and the extinguishing of candles as the sanctuary grew progressively darker.

I've been to many tenebrae services before, but this was my first at Fourth. Sitting on the chancel, looking back on this magnificent building created for the purpose of worshiping a God of awe and wonder, I was moved by the presence of the Spirit.

I'm often humbled when I lead worship at Fourth. It's such an amazing worship space with such an incredible history.

But tonight I felt something a little different. As the sanctuary grew dark, with every light extinguished, I realized that the darkness that we experienced tonight is the same darkness that envelops every place of worship during this Holy Week. Darkness doesn't discriminate. From the smallest chapel to the largest cathedral, we find ourselves in utter darkness. The passion of Christ reminds us with startling immediacy of the darkness in our world, a darkness that the love of God in Christ comes to vanquish. But we must all live in the darkness, at least for a little while.

In the darkness tonight, as the city moved with life outside the walls of our sanctuary, everyone inside was perfectly still and quiet, except for a single voice singing the powerful words of the old spiritual, "Were You There?"

Were you there? I wonder if the African American slaves that first sang this song knew the profundity of this theology? Whether they could have put into words or not, I suspect that they did. They felt it in there deepest beings.

Were you there? Throughout the evening we heard the story of Christ's passion read. The voices were those of my colleagues, my friends.

Were you there? When our pastor, John Buchanan, introduced the Lord's Supper, he retold the story of Jesus' final meal with his friends with an intensity and gravitas that I have rarely felt before.

I was there.

This story is my story. It's our story. And we relive it every year at this time.

Truth be told, we relive it every day of our lives.

I am a student of the Bible. I spend my life dissecting and interpreting this story. I read it over and over. I teach it. I explain it. I preach it. I believe it. I doubt it.

Tonight I lived it.

Were you there?

I was, and I'll never be the same.